Networking When You Hate Networking

If you’ve been subscribing for a while, you have probably noticed this newsletter has become more of a 2-3X a month newsletter than a weekly newsletter.

While I will continue to bring you deep dives into issues, this is the rate the newsletter will likely still continue to come.

 But the good news is there is a big project coming next month that has been taking a lot of my time away that many of you will be excited about.

More on that soon!

Networking For People Who Hate Networking

I hate networking, I always have and I always will!

I especially hate networking in the way many career coach gurus use it. Networking has turned into this dirty word for most people to represent some phony interaction that feels like a transaction.

I in-fact documented my own mistakes about networking and growing a network in a TikTok playlist showing myself buildings a real network from nothing over time.

Check out my Networking from Nothing playlist at this link to see my own personal journey

For my purposes, here are a few things networking is not:

1. Messaging strangers asking for a job

2. Messaging strangers asking for a referral

3. A quick way to find a job if you are still building a network.

I feel for everyone misled by the gurus telling them to just network to get a job and then saying things like “message the hiring manager” You are not seeing results and you think networking doesn’t work.

1. Networking is a long term time investment

2. Networking is about real connections

3. Networking is far more likely to result in a job on your next search than this one if you are just starting to build a network

2 Easy things to try to take baby steps into networking

Engage with Linkedin Content

I know you’ve probably heard this one said 1000 times but it remains true. If you watch the playlist videos I linked above you can see how quickly it started to make a difference for me. And now as someone on Linkedin with a growing following, I also regularly see who is engaging on my posts. I notice them, I interact with them and I see other people regularly interacting with them. If the goal is again to get to know people and not find an instant payoff, that is what is happening here. There are people who I will remember and recognized if I hear of something that makes sense for them. Beyond that, I have seen connections of mine become friends or connections both on LinkedIn and TikTok. I have seen real connections be made, simply by just showing up and participating. This is the easiest step 1 there is, as long as you accept that this is a long term approach.

Talk about Anything Besides Work

In person networking events feel gross and fake because most people at them are acting fake. I am constantly asked about how to make more of these opportunities, and the answer is to stop talking about work…especially as a conversation starter.

Conversations that lead with questions like “what do you do” are bound to end quickly and with no real connection. Instead try talking about LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE. Talk about the venue, the food and drinks, the funny thing that happened this morning. Talk about your favorite TV show or hobby, talk about anything. And eventually maybe you’ll get around to work

The Key to both of these ideas is building relationships and not transactions

No, maybe you don’t build a real connection with many people at the event. But maybe you really hit it off with 1 person and a conversation continues beyond that night. Everyone else will simply be a business card transaction after a 5 minute conversation and maybe a new LinkedIn connection that you won’t even remember why you are connected to in a year.

Focus your networking efforts on simply being there, and figuring out who your people are. Get to know them as people and one day one of you may be there for the other person in need.

The rest of the stuff is just cold outreach asking for jobs, and that is fine to do as well when you need a job. But it’s not building a network!

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